Leading with Mindfulness | Marc Lesser | On The Homefront

Brief Summary
In this introspective and grounded episode of The Homefront, Jeff Dudan sits down with Marc Lesser—executive coach, Zen teacher, and author of Finding Clarity—to explore what it means to lead with presence, empathy, and compassion in today’s chaotic world. From monastic kitchens to Wall Street boardrooms, Marc's life journey reveals how inner stillness and practical leadership can coexist—and why embracing discomfort is a superpower.
Key Takeaways
- Leadership starts with calming the swirl. Before we can lead others, we must calm our own minds—through presence, breath, and inner clarity.
- Avoiding conflict gives away your power. Compassionate accountability requires leaning into discomfort and engaging with truth.
- Business is a practice of being fully human. Marc sees Zen not as esoteric philosophy, but as a framework for integrating integrity, emotion, and action in leadership.
- Real listening changes everything. Listening with curiosity—not interruption—creates safety, clarity, and human connection.
- Clarity lives in paradox. Good leaders balance decisiveness with flexibility, focus with openness, and confidence with humility.
- Work is a cauldron for growth. Business, with its constant pressure and people challenges, is a profound tool for personal transformation.
Featured Quote
“Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm, but finding freedom within the storm.”
TRANSCRIPT
Meet Marc Lesser: Zen Teacher, CEO, and Mindful Leadership Author
Jeff Dudan (00:01.662)
Good day, everybody. I am Jeff Duden and we are on the Homefront. Homefront Brands simply building the world's most responsible franchise platform, encouraging entrepreneurs to take action and transform their lives, impact communities, and enhance the lives of those they care most about. All the while delivering enterprise level solutions to local business owners out there on the Homefront where it counts. If this sounds like you.
Check us out at HomefrontBrands.com today and start your next chapter of greatness, building your dynasty on the home front. I will be looking for you here. And today I am excited to have Mark Lesser with us on the home front. Welcome, Mark.
Marc Lesser (00:41.602)
Thanks, Jeff. It's great to see you.
Jeff Dudan (00:43.838)
Ah, it is. This is going to be an exciting time and a time that I'm particularly interested in learning a few things that for myself. So really honored that you're on. Mark Lesser is a CEO, executive coach, speaker and Zen teacher. He founded and was CEO of three companies and has an MBA degree from New York University. Finding Clarity, How Compassionate Accountability Builds Vibrant Relationships, Thriving Workplaces and Meaningful Lives is his fifth book.
His other books include Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader, which I read last night, Lessons from Google, and A Zen Monastery Kitchen and Less, Accomplishing More by Doing Less. Mark helped develop the world's renowned Search Inside Yourself program within Google, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence training for leaders that spread through Silicon Valley and then globally. He was the founding CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute.
He is CEO of ZBA Associates, an executive development and leadership consulting company that supports Genentech, Google, Beneficial State Bank, and other leading companies. And Mark was a resident of the San Francisco Zen Center for 10 years and director of Tassajara, is that correct? Zen Mountain Center, the first Zen monastery in the Western world. He leads an online Zen group, Mill Valley Zen International. Welcome Mark.
Marc Lesser (02:08.177)
Thank you, Jeff.
Jeff Dudan (02:10.958)
In reviewing your work online and your books, what's so exciting to me today is calming the swirl. And I had an incredible coach that told me that our job as leaders is to calm the swirl around us and make sense for ourselves and all the people that are on our teams and in our orbit. And yet I've never effectively been.
I've never been that effective at making that happen. It's a constant pursuit. And as you say, it's practice. There is no destination.
Mark, would you care to share a little bit about your background, maybe how you grew up for the audience place?
Three Rules for Being Human: Calm Your Mind, Find Your Song, Sing It
Marc Lesser (02:53.002)
Yeah, I just want to just respond to that a bit. I'm reminded when you said that, Jeff, of a mentor that I had when I was, I feel so privileged, lucky, the teachers and mentors that I've had. This particular one was someone who was trained as a Yurok Indian shaman, and who I met when I was in my early 20s, when I was living at the Zen Center.
And one of the things that he said was, you know, being a human is easy. You just need to do three things. One, calm your mind. You have to calm the busyness in your mind. And he said, that's probably the, you know, that's the starting ground, but it's only the first thing. Then you have to find what your song is, and then you have to sing it. He said, just these three things. That's all you need to do.
But calming one's mind, being able, especially today's world, with the how much, it seems like it's getting ramped up how much is pulling at us in terms of media, social media, the news, just everywhere we look. But anyhow, in response to your question, yeah, I...
I grew up in a small town in central New Jersey. I think of myself as having been pretty asleep most of my childhood. I think it was high school wrestling that got me through school. I was a good student, but just nothing was really grabbing my passion other than being a...
being an athlete and wrestling, and I just loved it. And I also played, you know, I applied to Rutgers early admission, and I distinctly remember telling my mother that I got this acceptance, and she said, congratulations, but how are you planning to pay for it? We don't have any money. And this was a real lesson, I think,
From Caddy to Zen Monk: How a Golf Scholarship and a Bread Book Changed Everything
Marc Lesser (05:18.238)
resilience. I went to my high school guidance counselor and asked her for some assistance. Again, another, you know, one of those mentors, I didn't really know her, but I just walked in and she pointed to some binders of scholarships. And I was thumbing through these scholarships, and I was really surprised to see that there was such a thing as a caddy, golf caddy scholarship.
and it listed one of the golf courses that I had been a caddy at and it listed Rutgers. I applied and I got a full caddy scholarship to Rutgers University. Anyhow, I did go to Rutgers and because I had that scholarship, it made it even harder for my parents when I took a one-year leave of absence from Rutgers and went to college.
Jeff Dudan (05:59.514)
Are you serious?
Marc Lesser (06:17.418)
out to the West Coast on a kind of a spiritual journey. I walked into the San Francisco Zen Center one day and immediately knew that this was gonna be my home for a while. And I did end up staying and living there for 10 years. And I still have the letter that I wrote to my parents explaining why this was the education that I needed. Now that, being a parent now, man, this must've been a hard letter for them to...
to read, but it did certainly change the course of my life that 10 year period. You and I were just chatting a little bit about the, you know, IC meditation is kind of like an extension of my high school wrestling. It was, you know, learning, it was being an athlete about being in the body and...
learning to still the mind and the body as a path to self-discovery, as a path to greater awareness, greater creativity. But there was also a surprising thing about my time at that 10 years was how important work was and the integration of meditation practice with study,
this realm of a non, we could talk more about a non-dual approach to life. And then finding myself working in a kitchen that was especially in the summertime, a lot like any commercial kitchen where we were producing gourmet vegetarian meals for 70 or 80 people every day, plus the student population there. And
Yeah, I found myself being assistant to the head cook and then I got asked to be the head cook and then I got asked to be the director. And it was very different, I think, than my own way that I saw myself. And it definitely stretched me and opened me. And I was surprised how much I was learning from and enjoyed leadership. And again, this realm of...
Marc Lesser (08:44.738)
you know, leadership within the context of Zen practice. And, you know, people ask me, well, what is Zen anyhow? And I'm like, you know, it's just a buzzword for being fully human. It's the practice of being fully human. It's a, you know, it's an old, old tradition, a beautiful, rich, you know, 1500 year tradition, but really it cares, it doesn't care so much about Zen or beliefs as much as
it's a bit of a practice and a process for self-discovery and for being fully human. And yeah, and it was, you know, I ended up deciding that I wanted to explore this realm of practice and leadership. And I ended up going to business school.
Right out of my 10 years, I went back and had to finish my undergraduate degree. Not only did I go to business school, of course I went to business school on Wall Street, New York University Graduate School of Business, which was literally on Wall Street at the time. And then right out of business school, I got a job working for a distributor of recycled paper.
Jeff Dudan (09:46.326)
Okay.
Jeff Dudan (09:55.198)
Mm-hmm.
Marc Lesser (10:07.286)
which led me to start my first company, which was a small publishing company called Brush Dance, which I ended up running and growing for 15 years. Lots, lots to say about that time. And shortly after leaving that company, I got a call from a Google engineer asking, hey, do you want to come help develop a mindfulness emotional intelligence and leadership program at Google?
Starting a Business After the Monastery: Brush Dance and the Business of Integrity
Marc Lesser (10:39.715)
And that also changed my life in that I discovered how much I loved teaching. I was, again, really, it was not how I saw myself, you know, this sleepy, asleep mostly growing up in New Jersey. And there I was teaching meditation, mindfulness, emotional intelligence to roomfuls of Google engineers. And
I felt like I was honing. It became a craft for me, the craft of teaching. And as well as doing coaching, doing the one-on-one work was also something that I liked. And I really loved that combination of working deeply with individuals, but also being up and creating safe, vibrant spaces. Yeah, so that's kind of brief.
Jeff Dudan (11:28.124)
Mm.
Jeff Dudan (11:33.031)
Right.
Marc Lesser (11:37.41)
kind of my work trajectory. I met my wife while I lived at the Zen Center and I have two grown kids. And despite my youthfulness, I also have a couple of young grandkids. It's hard to believe that, but that all seems to be true.
Jeff Dudan (12:00.762)
Mark, when you left Rutgers.
what were you searching for? I mean, that's a, you went all the way across the country and I know your father was a veteran and you've already shared that it's a shock to people. I, you know, there's two different philosophies on whether you share your financials with your kids. Some people say you don't share any of it and other people say, well, they need to know. So you might as well talk with them about it, but obviously it was a shock to you that they weren't paying for college.
So you had to figure it out. What were you searching for? Were you running to something or were you running from something?
Marc Lesser (12:44.126)
No, I think I was on fire. You know, I think when I got to Rutgers as a freshman, my world opened up in many, many ways. Combination of like just the people that were around me from all over the country and all over the world, kind of the people widened my world.
And I share this, I think, in the preface of the book that I had a professor who introduced me to psychedelics. That was a note that also opened my world. And I discovered, I developed a love for reading and learning, which I don't feel like I really had in high school. And in particular,
reading about humanistic psychology and existentialism and literature and then discovering, there's something about discovering the writing of Alan Watts and Zen practice. And a friend of mine, actually it was a friend of my older brothers handed me a brochure about a place in San Francisco that you could.
go and study Eastern and Western psychology and mysticism. And as soon as I saw that brochure, I was like, I'm there. I'm going there. And yeah, and I announced I was going to take a one year, by saying I had a program I was going to, it was going to be a one year beef of absence. And yeah, and I did go.
to that program and it was there that.
Marc Lesser (14:43.51)
on a bookshelf was a book called the Tassajara Bread Book, which happens to be the most, I think it's the best-selling bread book ever written. But it was a book that came out of this. Tassajara is a part of the San Francisco Zen Center. And the book had a spirituality, a sense of humor.
and practicality about how to bake bread. And again, it was like, man, I need to find out more about this place. And that's kind of what led me to the Zen Center and to Tatsahara.
Jeff Dudan (15:23.95)
So now you've really opened up your mind, and I've had those periods in my life to where I've read something or I've met somebody, and I just feel like I've been missing it all along. This was right here in front of me, and I've been so heads down in my own echo chamber on my...
on my wheel of things to do every day. And then you, you somehow pull your head up from it and you, you look over the horizon and you're like, there's a whole nother world to explore here. And, and that happened for you. And then you got into, and then you got into business. How did that, how did you go from, because to me, what it sounds like is that you've all, you would go somewhere like that to be an instructor, to be a teacher.
But you didn't immediately until you went to Google. You went into business. Tell us about that transition and how you made that decision.
Wall Street Meets Stillness: Business School, Recycled Paper, and Google Mindfulness
Marc Lesser (16:19.262)
Yeah, I think in particular my 10th year of living at the Zen Center, I was director of this, you know, this is a monastery in the winter, but it turns actually into a small business in the summertime. It's a conference center, overnight guests and workshops. And it dawned on me that my identity was as this, you know, Zen student, but that I was running a business.
and that I was responsible for a staff, I had a budget. And I think one of the books that came into my hands during that time was one of the best-selling business books ever, a book called In Search of Excellence by Tom Peters. And when I read that book, it was like, oh.
Business people are asking a lot of the same questions that I am and that there is some room for people like me and maybe even some need for what I might bring to the business world. I even happened to, I sat down for lunch one day while I was a Tassar director and sitting across the table was the woman who was the main editor of the book in search of excellence.
And I told her I was thinking about going to business school. And she ended up editing my business school applications. And I discovered the power of working with a good editor. And yeah, looking back, it's funny. You look back, it's like, man, I was either very brave or very stupid. I don't know which these decisions I was making and the things I was doing.
Marc Lesser (18:14.25)
I do feel a little bit, you know, I feel quite lucky with how things have turned out or continue to turn out for me. Business school, leaving and going to business school was really hard. I really missed being with my friends and the community.
Marc Lesser (18:40.438)
But it was a really good learning experience. I think it, you know, people asked me, what did I get from business school? It gave me the confidence. It gave me enough confidence to actually write a plan and launch a company, which, you know, which I did a few years, just a few years out of business school to, I had this idea that I was gonna make products out of recycled paper and just started doing it.
Jeff Dudan (19:08.17)
So how did you align your Zen practice and your lifestyle with your business? And how did that impact your leadership style?
Marc Lesser (19:20.074)
Yeah, I think it's interesting. I named my company Brush Dance, which was a story that this Yurok Indian shaman that I mentioned at the very beginning, he used to tell a story, which is essentially the punch line of the story, which we put on the back of every one of my.
products, every one of my greeting cards or calendars, was that the brush dance is a Yurok Indian healing ritual and that the Yurok Indians only have one law, which is to be true to yourself. And I felt like that was the guiding principle of how I wanted to be a leader, how I wanted to be
Marc Lesser (20:16.37)
integrity in everything I did as much as I could. And it was hard. And there were many, many tests having to do with growing a business, hiring and firing, dealing with investors, products that did great where we didn't have enough inventory, and products that failed. It was a great learning experience and lots.
lots of celebrations and lots of, you know, pain of things that things that went well and things that did not go well in that business business world.
Jeff Dudan (20:57.626)
Business has always challenged me in that maintaining your integrity and creating a reputation that you would want will absolutely cost you money sometimes.
Marc Lesser (21:13.63)
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Dudan (21:16.458)
And it's a trade-off. It's, well, I might be able to get out of this contract or out of this bill, but it's not what I said. And it's not what I intended. And those are hard decisions. And depending on what side of the, where you sit in the organization, the answers are often different. And there's competing priorities. How did you work with your team?
Did you have Zen sessions? Did everybody practice? What was it like to work in your organization from that perspective?
Leading Without Labels: How Zen Principles Show Up in Business Without the Jargon
Marc Lesser (21:49.19)
Yeah, no, I just, I mean, in all of the work that I've done, I've always not ever really used the language of Zen or any kind of religious pursuit. I felt it was important to, in some sense, to be bringing my full self in, but without the language of any particular practice or religion. So I think it was more the, you know, the language of
Jeff Dudan (21:58.826)
Mm.
Marc Lesser (22:17.902)
clarity, the language of integrity, of telling the truth. Yeah, of passion. And it's funny, I think then I probably didn't even use the word, there wasn't the word mindfulness then, there wasn't really compassion so much. It's interesting how only now that language is seeping into the business world. Yeah, I think it was about being working with as much
vulnerability and integrity as I could muster. And as you were just saying, it was, you know, I launched my company as a.com during that big, you know, like 1999, 2000.com explosion. Our timing was perfectly terrible, raised several million dollars.
And right as we had raised that money, the dot com collapsed. And, um, I still remember that there was, I had, um, uh, I had 24 employees at the time and the assumption was more money was coming, more growth was coming. And, um, in one day we went from 24 employees to 12 employees. And that was, that was a really hard day. And there was a lot of crying that day.
And I spent about a year, I think, of kind of reviving that company from the ashes. I discovered, you know, I discovered we didn't have enough cash in the bank to declare bankruptcy.
Jeff Dudan (24:04.256)
How does that work?
Marc Lesser (24:05.27)
Well, it's funny. It actually, it takes money. You know, it takes money. Who knew that you have to have enough money to hire lawyers? And we didn't. But I ended up finding a good attorney who said, here's what you do. You get everyone together in the room, everyone who owes you money, your investors, your creditors, and you come up with a plan of how you're going to.
Jeff Dudan (24:10.25)
Mm-hmm.
Jeff Dudan (24:13.93)
Fair enough.
Marc Lesser (24:34.818)
build this company back to where it was and even better, but that what you need is time and that you're gonna pay everyone everything that you owe them. And we did. And it was quite a beautiful thing to revive. My.com investors came back in and we kind of got back into our kind of solid wholesale business that I had grown.
That was a tough, those were tough, some tough conversations there, as you can imagine.
Jeff Dudan (25:05.97)
Yeah, that takes a lot of courage. Mark, we help entrepreneurs step into the swirl of business for many of them the first time. And it's very unsettling, as you know, starting a business. There's a lot to do. There's financial pressure. There's getting your first employees. They don't always work out. So you're going through that early attrition.
What advice would you have for somebody that they could do in practice that would reset them mentally as they're going through so much during the day? How does somebody start?
The Hero’s Journey of Entrepreneurship: Lean Into Fear, Gather Allies, Find Your Power
Marc Lesser (25:48.578)
funny what I surprised myself a little bit, what jumped into my mind was, some of the steps or process of the hero's journey. Cause I think when you start a business, you become, you are embarking, you have to be the hero of your journey. And that's a beautiful thing, I think about starting something, right? And it's interesting that, this is the Joseph Campbell,
Jeff Dudan (26:17.203)
Yes.
Marc Lesser (26:18.21)
the hero's journey starts with setting out on the journey. You're like, what's your vision? What is it you're trying to accomplish? And I've always loved that the next part of the hero's journey is noticing your fear, not suppressing or pushing away your resistance, your fear, the things that can go wrong. I think this actually important part of starting a business is leaning into that.
But the next part of the hero's journey is finding support, is gathering the people that you need in terms of, whether it's mentors, advisors, funders, all the various elements of support. And then the whole next process is then finding your power, finding your real power, learning from the challenges and difficulties. And I think this is...
You know, I think that starting a business or leadership or kind of anything having to do with the work world is really a fabulous cauldron for growing yourself. And I think it's useful and important to see that you're simultaneously creating something, growing something, building something, and you're also not forgetting to point the arrow inward.
and see like, what am I learning? How am I growing? How am I developing? And I think that's a great dance to be able to work within our businesses and our leadership in that way.
Jeff Dudan (27:58.962)
So without the, without the pressure and the demands, you don't have the need to find the meditative peace without the, the
distractions, you don't have the need to find the clarity and the focus and the calm. So these two things really work well together. One creates the need for the other in a way.
Marc Lesser (28:28.446)
Yeah, yeah, it's, you know, I think I once published as a greeting card, right? Serenity isn't, you know, freedom from the storm, but finding freedom, right? Finding freedom right within the storm. And, you know, and even, it might surprise people to hear this, but to me, meditation practice is kind of creating a storm. You know, like you sit down.
And you see that your mind is a storm. And it's a training in finding some way of not being able to be in the middle of your mind and find some sense of stillness and freedom there. And then being able to take that and integrate that, at least aspire to integrate that into one's life as a leader.
and in all our relationships.
Jeff Dudan (29:31.666)
You wrote a blog about, it said stop giving away your power. And what you spoke about was power in your ability to make effective decisions and to influence for the greater good. How do people give away their power, and what do you mean by that?
Stop Giving Away Your Power: Say What You Mean, Ask for Help, Lean Into Conflict
Marc Lesser (29:54.966)
Yeah, so I think a little bit of definition here that what I mean, you know, the word power often is misunderstood. I, right, I mean by power, the ability to affect or influence positive change, maybe the ability to muster one sense of deep inner confidence in yourself. And confidence not in an arrogant way, but in a way that includes humility.
I think there's real power in this combination of great confidence and great humility. I think people give away their power by not believing in themselves, by avoiding conflict. Much of my latest book, Finding Clarity, is really about, I think, my own journey and what I've learned and the programs that I've been developing about...
the importance and power of skillfully leaning in and engaging with difficulty and conflict. So key way that people give away power is saying yes when they mean no. Avoiding challenges, not being willing to say yes to challenges that would be useful and healthy to take on. Yeah, I think we give away our power by...
not leaning into finding mentors, asking for help. Asking for help is the way I think we, not asking for help is the way we give away our power. Because we need all the help we can get.
Jeff Dudan (31:35.302)
We do. So when you work with leaders and they're new to these concepts, where's the low-hanging fruit? I think I read somewhere that you said, you know, what's the minimum you can do? And you said one breath. One breath can make a difference. And it's just this, and I'm really interested in this concept of how do, how would I start? Like what would I do?
uh, first to get, to get started on the journey, to get some sort of an outcome that I'm going to, that's going to encourage me to continue in practice.
Marc Lesser (32:13.834)
Yeah, yeah. No, that was one of the questions I was asked, right? Most often by Google engineers, what's the least amount I can meditate and have it make no extra time. But I think, again, the question I think also came from the scientific mind, you know? And there's the science and then there's your experience. And yeah, so my response to that was start.
Jeff Dudan (32:25.198)
Right, because they don't have a lot of extra time.
Start with One Breath: Mindfulness Practices That Actually Fit Busy Lives
Marc Lesser (32:43.506)
start with something that you can do. One aware breath, one mindful breath, make that a practice or three minutes. Anyone can find three minutes even in a busy morning, you can get up three minutes earlier to have a little meditation practice. I've been amazed, Jeff, in the power of people practicing listening.
Again, it seems like maybe obvious, but I find one of the low hanging fruits is to experiment when you're in conversation with someone to see what it's like to really listen.
The Power of Listening: How Presence Transforms Relationships and Results
Marc Lesser (33:33.17)
Let there even be a little silence. Try, try, tell me more. Or then, or what do you, how did that change you? What do you think? And be willing to just listen and see what happens. There's some, again, I talk about, you know, I think there is tremendous power in, it's like the power of our presence, the power of our.
caring and not in any fake way, but in like try on being really curious about who are these other people who you are working for or are hiring or are serving as your customers. Be like making that real connection through the power of listening. That's a, you know, I mean, noticing and maybe while you're doing that.
noticing how are you feeling? What's your inner, what is your inner, be curious about your own, what's happening in your body? You know, can you listen and be open or are you listening with a kind of tightness? Can you listen with curiosity or do you find your mind is racing and you already know the answer? So...
Jeff Dudan (34:54.03)
It's a skill. It's, it's, it's so hard because you're, you listen and we all have an attention span and then three minutes in you've done great and now you're thinking about the next meeting or something else that's in your inbox or I got to remember to do that next thing you know, you've just missed something. It takes real effort and attention to stay present and engaged with people. And if I think about the best.
mentors that I've ever had. That was a skill that they honed.
Marc Lesser (35:27.082)
Yeah, yeah. You know, it's interesting. I get asked a lot about, you know, since I named this book, you know, finding clarity to, you know, to define, you know, well, what is clarity anyhow? And it is, there's a lot of paradoxes. And as much as I don't like paradox, we want clarity, but.
It's just the way things are that we listen with focus and concentration. And we also have to sometimes widen our lens. We have to be clear and decisive, but we also need to be flexible. Does change happen all at once or slowly? Well, yeah. Sometimes change can happen all at once. The things, the ahas, the things we discover, but.
We also need to be patient at the same time.
Jeff Dudan (36:26.654)
Yeah. You know, on the surface level, and I talk about this in training, what looks like sometimes in subordination, a lack of effort, failure to comply is often the result of a lack of clarity. And if people don't understand clearly what they are supposed to do and how they are supposed to do it, they will hesitate, which
Causes missed opportunities. They will make something up that may be wrong or they'll do nothing
people that are going too fast or visionaries that occur in all three states, past, present, and future in the same conversation and confuse everybody around them, which I might have been accused of once or twice, will have a negative impact on clarity in an organization because they're not taking the time to slow down. I found
in my interactions, saying nothing is the first thing that I need to do, as opposed to verbalizing the four conversations that are going on in my head and just try to really be present and listen and understand. Because oftentimes where you thought they were going is a completely different place. And they would have just, what they would have heard is he wasn't listening to me and he doesn't understand what I'm talking about.
Marc Lesser (38:00.487)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jeff Dudan (38:01.054)
So I'm particularly interested in learning how to slow down.
Marc Lesser (38:07.362)
Yeah, yeah. Well, what I'm hearing as I'm listening to what you're saying is the importance of alignment. It's easy. It's very easy. I mean, we never really know what another person's experience is. We make a lot of assumptions often about what people are hearing and experiencing. It takes, you know,
It takes a lot of effort and work and skill, right, to be aligning again and again, you know, in the world of entrepreneurship and work aligning around what does success looks like? I think we all, you know, we want to work with people, and most people want to be successful at whatever they're doing. But it takes, you know, that it's a moving target.
almost by definition of what success looks like right now may change tomorrow. And there's also not only success in the things we can measure and the finances, the products, the timelines, but there's also what are the qualities? What do we value here? How are we
How are we working together with conflict? How are we expressing care and concern? And what does that look like? And what doesn't that look like? And can we have those, can we align around those in those topics and conversations?
Jeff Dudan (39:50.118)
Mark, I've got, I have a question around the seven practices of a mindful leader. I have my book here and in the seven practices, if you don't mind me just reading through them, love the work, do the work, don't be an expert, which I found particularly interesting, connect to your pain, connect to the pain of others, depend on others, keep making it simpler.
Marc Lesser (40:02.382)
Please.
Don’t Be an Expert: Radical Openness as a Leadership Practice
Jeff Dudan (40:19.494)
I'm particularly interested in what it means to don't be an expert because I found that to be, your description of it, very interesting in as much as we're expected to be experts in everything that we do and people are judging you by that, but you have a different take on that.
Marc Lesser (40:38.194)
Well, again, I think I say in there that I want my car mechanic and my surgeon and my... Yeah, so it's not at all undervaluing mastery and expertise in craft. It is more saying that in the realm of human relationships, no one is an expert.
Jeff Dudan (40:43.953)
Oh yeah.
Marc Lesser (41:03.538)
in human, in our relationships and what it's like to work together. You know, and this, these practices were, they came from the qualities that I wanted to teach to, to people who were teaching, uh, emotional intelligence, mindfulness and leadership. I would say, you know, no one, no one can, no one is an expert in emotional intelligence or even leadership for that matter, because we, you know,
We might develop a certain mastery in one setting or one context, but man, you put someone in a different context and you better have an open mind. So it's really about having an open mind, being willing to learn, being willing to be flexible with whatever the circumstances are. Yeah, a kind of radical vulnerability, that quality of not being an expert, right?
you know, being an expert can cut off learning and listening and creativity in this, again, in this emotional realm.
Jeff Dudan (42:13.662)
Something that I've found helpful, I learned from an organization called YPO. And we are trained never to offer advice, but only to share experiences. Because if I'm offering you advice, I'm telling you what I would do or I think you should do. And I'm now an expert in your life, in your reality, in your situation.
Whereas I might've had a similar experience and it's more helpful for me to just share what happened to me and how I addressed the situation and then you can take that. And there's always within a group related experiences to whatever the issue or the problem might be that somebody's having. And we found that to be more helpful. So I think that's along the same lines there.
Marc Lesser (43:03.754)
Yeah, no, and I actually many years ago was, got trained as a YPO facilitator. And yeah, I think that statement about advice giving implies a certain expertise, which can often get in the way of
Jeff Dudan (43:13.268)
Ah, you would be wonderful. I'm sure you were.
Marc Lesser (43:32.81)
real learning and connection and creativity. So it's interesting. Although I'm in a group myself, it's a kind of a YPO inspired group that I'm in. And we joke about, we've gotten to know each other well that sometimes they just tell me what to do. Your advice is welcome. If there's enough, you can play with.
Jeff Dudan (43:52.659)
Yeah
Marc Lesser (44:01.026)
Play with those rules if there's enough trust.
Jeff Dudan (44:03.642)
You can. You can. And then this concept of connecting to your pain and connecting to the pain of others. What does that look like in practice?
Connect to Your Pain—and the Pain of Others—to Build Real Empathy
Marc Lesser (44:14.622)
You know, I think we there's been a lot of research and writing about the importance of empathy as a leader. You know, it turns out that that feeling the feelings of others is a essential quality of a leader in building connection and building, building trust and getting people to, to work passionately together. But so this is, I think, just taking it a bit deeper, right. Connecting to, cause in a way.
It's the feelings that I think probably are most critical to be connecting with are people's loneliness, their pains, their doubts, their struggles. So just kind of making that more explicit. Again, it's a kind of way of, it's a way into not avoiding conflict, because so much of
Jeff Dudan (45:11.251)
Yeah.
Marc Lesser (45:14.794)
Avoiding what we think is painful in ourselves, right? It feels risky. There's some there's some there's some old old or new pain there that we don't want to open up so it's kind of practicing with Learning to be able to sit right in the in the midst of what is uncomfortable and to be able to not suppress it or run away from it, but to learn from it
Jeff Dudan (45:35.678)
Yeah.
Jeff Dudan (45:40.506)
No, we, we talk about, we have to get with our franchisees, we have to get what we call in the pocket with them. Meaning we have to be close enough and take a servant's approach where they will trust us to share what the issue they are having might be, because if we notice that say numbers are off for some reason, something's going wrong and.
It could be if there's low trust, they might say, well, you know, the market's changing. Everybody's slow. This is, you know, some sort of surface level response. But if we're close enough and our empathy is forward and our intent is good and clear. And we're patient. They will ultimately get, Hey, I'm going through a divorce or.
something, there's an illness or something's going on. They don't want to share that right off the bat, but unless we really are sharing their pain and understanding what their reality is, it's hard for us to help them accurately or to offer suggestions or to do whatever it is we can do to help them find a solution. So, and it takes time and also some people are less sympathetic than others.
And I think empathy is unfakable.
Marc Lesser (47:14.206)
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. You know, and there's the, there is the, you know, the pains and challenges that as humans, we bring in from other parts of our lives, but there's also the pain of, you know, not feeling like you're a successful salesperson or accountant or whatever it is, the gaps between where you...
want to be in where you actually are and being able to face those difficulties and challenges.
Jeff Dudan (47:50.162)
Mark, I can imagine that the changing workplace with remote work, the continued digital impact of social media on our attention, the ability to communicate through collaboration tools, which cuts down on face-to-face time, all of these things must have a tremendous impact on.
the ability to connect and the necessary human relationships in the workplace. Is this a trend that makes your work more difficult, or what comments do you have on that as it's impacting people's experience at work?
Virtual Work and the Search for Human Connection in Digital Environments
Marc Lesser (48:37.662)
Yeah, you know, even before COVID, when I was CEO of a company, I was always experimenting with finding the right blend of people working together and flexible time. And I think that that, to me, that there's something really valuable about finding that.
I think what you're saying and what I'm noticing, I do work now with companies and it's become more and more common where people rarely to never actually meet. And that seems, I think there's still, you know, the jury's out on how that's going to work out. I've always had this belief. And what I, my own experience is that
Once I meet in person, it makes virtual much easier. But I have to say, I work with clients who I never meet in person, and I'm surprised how well it works. And yeah.
Jeff Dudan (49:46.222)
It does. We have to be open-minded about it. But I mean, we are tribal. But if, if, I mean, if Zoom is the norm, then, you know, that's the norm. And these collaboration tools, I mean, you can communicate, almost over communicate. People expect a response within seconds sometime when they're in a group, which I think can be overwhelming a little bit in and of itself.
Marc Lesser (50:04.438)
Yeah. Yeah.
Marc Lesser (50:11.142)
Yeah, I'm of the mindset that if you're going to work virtually.
Marc Lesser (50:20.214)
use it and bring in connection, look for ways to connect as much as possible virtually, which I would say is what I would advise in person. It's all about connection. There are even some instances when I've seen even some advantages to, you know, like in fact, when,
I was actually teaching a class that was mostly in person when COVID came. And it happened to be in a classroom that was kind of long and narrow, it was kind of imperfect, so that I could really only see and be about the first row or two of people. And then there were, I don't know, eight or 10 other rows of people behind them. And I noticed when it went virtually, suddenly I could see everyone's face.
And it's like, oh, that's interesting. There's a way I feel more connected here in Zoom. Now, what I gave up was all of the amazing things that happened during the breaks, where you get to hang out with people. And so there are definitely trade-offs, but there were some advantages. And I find now in the workshops that I do online,
Jeff Dudan (51:22.461)
Mm.
Marc Lesser (51:46.57)
getting people into breakouts online is quite intimate and sometimes even more intimate than in person where you might be in a room where there's a lot of distractions and people, but man, you're just there face to face with another human being on Zoom. So I like to look for how to best find the gold in this particular medium. And
At the same time, there's something about getting people together that has its own gold.
Jeff Dudan (52:21.097)
Yeah.
Facing Life Transitions? Ask These Questions to Find Clarity and Courage
Jeff Dudan (52:24.718)
As it's there are merits for sure. Mark, if somebody were looking at a life changing, career changing decision, as so many people we work with are, what are some of the questions that would be very helpful that they should ask themselves if they're maybe fearful, if they're, if they're on the fence, logically, they've checked all the boxes, but
emotionally, physically, or the change that they might have to go through. How do people, how can people help themselves really sort this out and come to peace with a new reality?
Marc Lesser (53:10.13)
Yeah, yeah, to me the big questions in those times of change are, you know, what's in my heart? Like come back, like what's in my... I mean, it's like the obvious question, but, you know, what's in my heart? What do I really want? What support system do I have? And what support system do I have the right support system? What do I need? And...
And what do I love doing? What do I love doing in this?
Marc Lesser (53:48.99)
you know, our time, our time and our, where we, how we spend our time and where we put our attention are so, you know, irreplaceable resources, and to, to value those. So to be really careful about where I'm putting my time, where I'm putting my energy and my own, my own inner resources.
Jeff Dudan (54:17.022)
awesome.
So if you had one sentence to make an impact in someone's life, what would that be?
Do you have a go to?
Be Joyful Though You’ve Considered All the Facts: Marc’s Closing Wisdom
Marc Lesser (54:30.607)
Yeah, my go-to is a quote by Wendell Berry, the Kentucky farmer, who says, Be joyful, though you've considered all the facts. Be joyful. So it's, don't avoid anything. Like really meet life, people, conditions, work. Meet it all head on.
and find a way to be joyful and appreciative right in the midst of this.
you know, the craziness and beauty of this world that we live in.
Jeff Dudan (55:13.614)
I think that's very sage and perfect. Mark, how could people reach out to you, or how can they enjoy and consume some of your wisdom?
Marc Lesser (55:25.782)
Yeah, please reach out. Buy my book, Finding Clarity, and my website is marklesser.net, M-A-R-C-L-E-S-S-E-R.net. Lots of writing, guided meditations, and yeah, come play.
Jeff Dudan (55:41.63)
Fantastic Mark. It's been an absolute pleasure having you on with us today. Thank you so much
Marc Lesser (55:46.53)
Yeah, my pleasure, Jeff. Thank you.
Jeff Dudan (55:48.842)
You're very welcome. And as always, this podcast has been brought to you by very calm, serene Homefront brands, simply building the world's most responsible franchise platform, all the while delivering enterprise-level solutions to local business owners out there on the Homefront where it counts. So if this sounds like you, check us out today. I will be looking for you here. Thanks again, Mark. We'll talk to you soon.
Marc Lesser (56:15.351)
Thank you.
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