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Brief Summary
Jeff Dudan sits down with Kelly Siegel, the raw and relentless author of Harder Than Life, to unpack how trauma, addiction, and personal transformation can shape an unstoppable life. From a violent childhood to building a thriving IT company and launching a positive social platform, Kelly shares how choosing hardship, discipline, and truth became the foundation for a purpose-driven mission. This powerful episode will resonate with anyone who’s struggled, survived, and is still building.
Key Takeaways
- Adversity can be your superpower. Kelly reframed his abusive past and turned it into fuel for discipline, resilience, and emotional clarity.
- Sobriety was the launchpad. Eliminating alcohol allowed Kelly to focus, build meaningful relationships, and scale both business and impact.
- Model the behavior you want others to follow. Especially with kids, what you do matters more than what you say.
- Read, journal, meditate, move. These daily practices keep Kelly aligned, present, and constantly evolving.
- Success begins with truth and love. Whether in leadership or parenting, transparency and compassion are non-negotiable.
- AI and cybersecurity present massive risk—and opportunity. Through National Technology Management, Kelly helps businesses stay protected in a rapidly evolving threat landscape.
Featured Quote
“We’re not all broken. We just ain’t finished yet.”
— Kelly Siegel
TRANSCRIPT
From Trauma to Triumph: Kelly Siegel’s Harder Than Life Origin Story
Jeff Dudan (00:02.23)
Hey everybody, welcome to On the Homefront. I am Jeff Duden and I'm here today with Kelly Siegel, who is harder than life based on his book, which I read last night, which made me really, it was really interesting. It was a tale of a lot of adversity and a lot of woe. And I'm looking forward to unpacking your life today with us here on the Homefront. Kelly Siegel, welcome.
Kelly (00:29.848)
Jeff, I hope you didn't read it before you went to bed because it probably put you right to sleep. Nah.
Jeff Dudan (00:34.91)
No, or a couple of nightmares in there. You know, I either wanted a drink or never wanna see another drink again, which is probably preferred. What I found in my life is, that I'm much more effective when I'm clear, sober, and focused. But Kelly, thanks for being on today. Would you care to share a little bit?
about how you grew up and your experiences that made you harder than life.
Kelly (01:08.196)
Absolutely, Jeff. And you know, thank you for having me on. And you know, we talked about the alignment with Naughty Water. And you know, as we both are sitting here with gray in our beards, you know, with wisdom, where good things come from wisdom, wisdom comes from experience. So, you know, everything I did, I learned.
Jeff Dudan (01:18.877)
Eh.
Kelly (01:30.932)
I'm a learned at all. So I wasn't one of those people that just keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. So really, truthfully, the simplest and easiest story about me is I was drinking the poison, expecting other people to die. And I was my own worst enemy. Sound familiar? When I decided that I was gonna be harder than life, life actually got easy. So the next book's probably gonna be named Easier Than Life.
And it's simple. You hear it from all these fitness influencers, all these people that you turn on, whether it be Ed Mylett, David Goggins, Andy Purcell. Anyway, it's the same story. Make hard choices, do hard things. I'm not talking about getting into these ice bags, taking baths, taking cold showers. I'm just saying the things that you don't wanna do, like get up early, do it.
When you don't want to go to work, do it. You don't want to go to the gym. Do it. You don't want to eat right? Do it. It's just literally that's the definition of harder life and my entire upbringing in my childhood Was hard my stepfather and my mother were physically and emotionally abusive nothing in my life was easy growing up when I was supposed to get love and affection and safety and kindness and nurturing
I got a swift kick in the hind parts and told me go fricking take care of yourself. And I'm not saying that to be woe is me. And now I've done so much therapy and work on myself and I'm appreciative of that. The moment that you take the positive and stop playing the victim and realize that, man, they did this to make me tough. Nothing can rattle me, Jeff, nothing. The world could be falling.
And I'm like, oh, let's go. I've been through this before. I remember this. I remember getting my teeth kicked in when I was expecting to wake up to safety. So that's.
Abuse, Survival, and Building a Mindset That Can’t Be Broken
Jeff Dudan (03:36.262)
Look, man, I gotta tell you that what you just said around you appreciate what happened to you because it made you who you are today. That's a recurring theme of successful people, man, like people that came from nothing and were faced with challenges and became used to overcoming obstacles, climbing over that tree. But, dude, the story's in your book.
I mean, for the people on the podcast that haven't read this book or looked into you, these aren't just normal things of abuse. These are horrific things that you don't even see in movies. So I mean, it was you came from a place you came from, eight mile, right? You go to high school with Eminem.
Kelly (04:23.616)
Yeah, I went to high school for a year and I grew up with his. Yeah, yeah. Nothing like he is today. Nothing. He was very quiet, smoked a lot of weed and was very introverted. And it was just when we'd be partying at my house. I live with my sister. So the abuse got so bad. When I turned 16, I moved out like right away. I mean, the emotional abuse, it just, it got stupid.
Jeff Dudan (04:26.348)
Like did you know him? Or what was that like? Just...
Jeff Dudan (04:34.016)
Really?
Jeff Dudan (04:38.039)
Hehehe
Kelly (04:51.616)
where my stepfather quit drinking and became an even bigger jerk and just literally wadded me around to torture. It was so miserable. He had to project it onto somebody and he projected onto me and I looked at him and I said, hey, literally the last night I spent under his roof.
I looked at him and I said, hey, it's go time. You've pushed me around long enough. I'm sick and tired of it. Either you leave me alone or we're going outside and we're fighting right now. And he said, get out of my house. And I said, gladly. And you know that?
Jeff Dudan (05:29.534)
Yeah, look, my daughter, my daughter still, one time she was misbehaving a little bit, so I took the doorknob off and I turned it around backwards and I locked her in. I still hear about that. Dude, your stepfather tried to drown you in the tub. The stories in this book, and I don't wanna overemphasize it, these are things that, I mean, normally people would get.
Kelly (05:48.704)
Yeah, that sucked.
Jeff Dudan (05:58.922)
arrested for and sent to jail.
Kelly (06:00.312)
Yeah, nowadays they would be definitely in jail. My grandmother who tried to act as my mother late in life said I knew something bad was going on but I didn't know it was this bad. She's like, had I known I would have got you out of the house. But you know, again, everything happens for you, not to you. And you could tell every time you say those things, I start smiling because I can equate every one of those to some sort of success in my life. And this is recent, man. This is in six months that everything kind of just broke loose where it's like, holy.
most. This was God looking at him because we were talking about that tub incident. I remember that like you just said it. I remember like it was yesterday. I thought I was donezo. I remember going down going what the hell is happening and he pulled me up just before I would like pass out and then at one point I just reached out and I grabbed and I said grab the freaking the stopper and I pulled the stopper and that's what's that he wouldn't have stopped. He was so drunk.
You know, I'm here. I've been run over by a car. I've been shot at. I've been stabbed. It's just, I cannot be killed. And I'll say that out loud. Out thing. I'm here for a reason and that's where Harder Than Life exists. And we're gonna donate a million dollars to charity every year that the Harder Than Life brand brings it in. Because I want to grow and give. Grow and give. And I wanna create awareness that if I did this,
anybody can do this, but hey, it's not okay. And what was the bigger message is how I coped with it for 20 some odd years, which was drink, drink. That's not the answer. Face your fears, live your dreams. The moment I said, I'm done with this fricking drinking the poison, expecting my parents to die, life got better. Now there was a lot of times where they tested me.
You know, during the pandemic, I was about 15 months into this crusade. I lost my biggest customer. I lost my COO. I lost custody of my daughter. It was like, I looked up at God and said, what are you teaching me? You know, you can't beat me. You know, I won't give up. And you know what? That built another resiliency in me that I knew that no matter what, no matter what, because I lost my daughter and that was like that.
Losing Everything: Sobriety, Faith, and the Power of Not Giving Up
Kelly (08:24.168)
She's everything to me. She's, I'm great, I broke the cycle of abuse with her and she is spoiled and loved and an assassin. So when that got taken away, I was like, what are you teaching me? What are you teaching me? So look for the message and everything. There is a lesson in everything. There really is, it is. And sometimes people say, oh, this didn't go my way or life is against me. It's aligning for you, believe me. It's just, God is trying to tell you.
look inside and adjust what you need to become the person that you want to be. And that's where peace comes in, Jeff. Peace comes into being a complete alignment with the person that you want to be and who you are. And the larger that gap is when you aren't the person you want to be, that's all regret and usually filled with a lot of bad decisions.
Jeff Dudan (09:16.646)
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you're going through this abuse and you're getting kicked out of your house. Your sister, who is nine years older than you, had established a life outside of the home. She gave you an olive branch, reached out to you and said, you got to get out of there. You stuck it out longer. And then ultimately she helped pull you out of there. But now you had this. I can only imagine that you had incredible self-confidence issues. You didn't. You didn't. You probably had trust issues.
limiting beliefs, you're a very young person and you're drinking and using and now like you've just got this big shit sandwich that you've got to unpack and start the process of getting better. What did that look like for you leaving the house and then ultimately transitioning into college and into your career? Talk about that period of your life.
Freedom and Chaos: Life After Escaping Abuse
Kelly (10:12.104)
Oh, I remember the next day when I left, my stepfather called my sister and said, I need to talk to Kelly. He's like, he's not here. Well, where is he? He's at school. And she said, well, why is he at school? He's like, well, he's
he's gonna go to college, nothing's changed just because he's not there, he's now safe. So why do you need to talk to him? And she's like, well, he doesn't really wanna talk to you. So how did it look for me is I immediately got freedom and choices. And when you give a young person freedom and choices that never had them before, they're gonna make poor choices. And I made a lot of poor choices, but again, God was looking out for me and no matter how many stupid choices, dumb situations, I put myself in,
I remember going to a house party and a fight broke out because the only true brotherhood I knew, the only family I knew besides my sister were my friends. And they were all party animals. And you know, the brotherhood was fighting. Somebody come after your friend, you fought for him. That was how you showed your love. So we were at a party and a fight breaks out. And then we walked outside and the guy that got beat up came back with a gun and shot my friend.
to me and it's like this is just not healthy. I have got to make better choices. I went on to drink for another 20 years because everybody loved that guy and like you said you nailed it. It sounds like you've been there. Trust, betrayal. You created the exact environment you're trying to avoid because you you're what I operated out of fear.
Lack and scarcity. I was always scared that something that I was gonna be abandoned I was always afraid that nobody would love me and when you don't love yourself Nobody else gonna love you and I kept meeting
Jeff Dudan (12:02.25)
Yeah. It's very hard to be consistent. You can't be consistent when you're in that condition. You can't be, you can't be, well, true, you can be consistently inconsistent.
Kelly (12:08.372)
Well, consistently good. You can be consistent. I was consistently bad, man. I could consistently run amok with the best of them, bro. I had a good time. And this is what makes me very, very experienced and verse wipe. I think my voice is very heard when people talk about addiction and or just quitting. Just the people I'm looking for, I'm not looking for the people that are already
too far gone on alcohol. Or the people obviously that don't drink alcohol. It's the in-betweeners, the people that have the one or two that turn into the two and the three, and that eventually turns into 10. And those are the people we wanna talk to. And really, I'm really, I love the 15 to 25 age demographic because I wanna teach them, hey, the best investment you'll ever do is on yourself and on your mind. If somebody would, if Kelly right now,
48 year old Kelly would have walked up to 17 year old Kelly and said put his arm around him big muscular Macho man and said listen to me. I'm gonna teach you I love you. First of all, I would have to say I love you and I would have had to be consistent and I would have freaking hugged and lobbed on him and said you're safe. I'm Taking you under my wing and that young Kelly wouldn't believe the word the old Kelly said
And funny thing is I'm walking you through is what therapy really is. That's shadow work and how you're supposed to address childhood trauma. Big Kelly, Converse, Little Kelly. But if I would have met a Big Kelly like now, I would have respected and looked at, that's the life I want. Because I'm winning and winning massively. And I'm not saying that to brag. I'm just saying because everybody has to aspire to something. You have to have goals.
I wake up every morning, I'm happy. I want to, I look forward to my day. I look forward to challenges because I know every challenge on the other side of it is growth and a learning opportunity. I met with three customers of National Technology Management yesterday, which is weird that they weren't overjoyed with us. And I just went and listened. And afterwards it was like, man, I freaking love you. And I made three really close friends that I'm gonna bring on the podcast. So.
Daily Disciplines That Actually Work: Fitness, Breathwork, and Journaling
Kelly (14:25.664)
Everything happens for me. All of this happened for me. And use it as what it's meant to be, as a tool to build that resiliency. If it were easy, everybody would be doing it. And then it would be just, we would have a communistic society where everything is equal. And that's just not the way the universe is meant to be. Work hard, you're rewarded. You're lazy and you do nothing. You're rewarded with nothing.
there. So be harder than life, face your fears, live your dreams, make good choices, and have a daily routine of fitness, of breath work, of meditation, journaling. I just before I came on this podcast, I did I made sure I did a 10 minute meditation so I could be completely clear minded, not thinking about anything other than you Jeff.
Inside National Technology Management: Cybersecurity That Shields
Jeff Dudan (15:20.022)
Well, we all appreciate that. Tell me a little bit about National Technology Management. What does the company do?
Kelly (15:27.416)
Thanks for you know, we're the we're the easiest and best IT company to do business with a heavy emphasis on cybersecurity You know that whole ransomware stuff or I've been hacked you see it all over social media We protect businesses against that we keep it simple keep it easy If you look behind me if you're watching us on YouTube The company's logo is a shield and in many respects if you think about it All I want to do is protect everybody
Jeff Dudan (15:39.647)
Yeah.
Kelly (15:56.56)
in the IT business, in harder than life, I am a big teddy bear that wants to help and just protect. I don't subscribe to any of the isms, no sexism, no racism, no ageism. I just see you, I can see right through everybody whether they're happy or not. And if you're not, I wanna help you get happy. If you are happy, I wanna help you stay there.
Unfortunately, we only that's where they come up with the one percenters of the world only one percent of the world has figured this thing out And and it isn't one percent of the people that control all the money because money doesn't buy you happiness gets you money
Jeff Dudan (16:39.202)
You know what, man, though, you click on one David Goggins reel, you click on one Jordan Peterson reel, you click on one Tony Robbins thing, man, you will be flooded with the answers. Like, it's finding, figuring out what to do is not the problem. It's doing it. And just as you're flooded with all of this, hey, get up, you know, I watched this seven or eight minute clip.
Goggins, I forget who he was with, maybe it was Rogan, but it was on Will. And it was on, you know, it was, okay, yeah, I get up at two 30 in the morning and I run 15 miles and then I do this and then I do that and it, you know, and he just, he just, he finds the hardest things that he can do every day. And then he does them. And if he doesn't do them, then he's not growing and he just puts himself in this constant state of stress and struggle. Uh, but.
You know, it's changed his life and that's life he wants to live. But man, it is then on the other side of it, the other 80% of stuff that's in your feed, maybe 80% of the people that are in your life, 80% of the messages that you see as you walk around or you drive by fast food places and people are, you know, shoving all, I mean, everything else in society is deductive to who you really want to be. I mean, it shouldn't.
Should it really be that innovative and unique to live a healthy, prosperous, contributing life? But the self-defeating nature, the way we seek comfort, the way that we look at, you know, with envy at what other people have, you know, we just look at and we say that we want what they have, but if you really saw behind the scenes, they're as broken as you are.
I mean, it's tough out there psychologically. I mean, I would hate to be a kid now, right? To be honest with you, because you've got all of this dopamine addiction in the phones. I mean, it's almost like the decks are stacked. But then again, we live in the most prosperous country in the world. The world's never been safer statistically, regardless of what you see on TikTok and all these other places. The world's never been safer. There's never been more opportunity. There's never been more freedom.
Jeff Dudan (19:02.57)
And the access to information gives us the opportunity to really just create a great life. But man, there's no way to do it without putting in the work and without ruthless prioritization of productive things versus unproductive things. And you know, I really applaud what you've done with your life. And I'm interested to know how you're helping other people do the same.
Kelly (19:30.884)
Well, let me comment on a lot of that stuff because you know, some of this message
Jeff Dudan (19:36.83)
You know, I like to ask like 14 questions and then give you a chance to respond. Ha ha ha.
Kelly (19:39.316)
I noticed that, I just, if you looked at it, I had to write, I had to write, I was like, oh my God, he's right. So Goggins actually was, is published by his books, which I highly recommend. Two great books, Can't Hurt Me and Never Finished. Two great books, published by the same publisher that published Harder Than Life. I haven't yet to meet him, but I will. You know, I'd say this, there's successful people that get up at 10 o'clock.
Jeff Dudan (19:45.012)
UGH
Kelly (20:08.824)
There's people that are happy that get up at noon. There's people that work out late at night. So take the message and leave the mess. I think that my boy Goggins and Jaco and all these people, that's what works for them. I happen to subscribe to a lot of the same things, but I've adapted it to me. So I am the perfect blend of all those guys.
I wish I had one tenth of the financial capacity. I will, I just get started. But if you ever wanna think how, hear how insane David Goggins is, read the book, Living With a Seal. It's by Jesse Itzler. And so he doesn't say to the very end that it's Goggins, but if you know Goggins, you can tell. So Jesse Itzler basically hires David Goggins to come train him for 30 days. And he said it's just...
basically says everything they do. It's insane. David Goggins is certifiable insane, but he's massively successful. And that's what works for him because you know, as, as you know, he was a big heavy, heavy kid and had every excuse in the book and just switched it. So he switched it. I switched it. Uh, and you can put life on its head. So again, hard, the only way though, as you said, work works the only path.
is through hardship. It's it. If you grow up with easy, easy times, make, make freaking hard or easy people make hard times. Hard times make hard people. Hard times make, or hard people make easy times. There's a circle. We, so it's, it's insane. Um, so always choose hard.
Jeff Dudan (21:53.334)
Yeah.
Helping Others Heal: Charities, Vulnerability, and Real Leadership
Kelly (21:57.536)
Because most people choose easy. So you asked me the long question or the next question is how am I helping people? Well, first of all, i'm being very vulnerable There's nothing Although I talk about my book empty a jar of urine Uh, there is and there's a there was a message behind that it was do your job right the first time so you don't have to do It again So i'm going to be very vulnerable. I'm going to put myself out there
Jeff Dudan (21:59.926)
Yeah, I had this.
Jeff Dudan (22:16.45)
Yeah.
Kelly (22:21.78)
and we're going to continue to grow and learn and give. And the three charities that we're donating to is the Children's Foundation, which supports the children's hospital, Variety, which supports children that need prosthetics, arms and legs, and then Families Against Narcotics, which helps families who have a...
alcoholic or an addict in their family. It's traumatic. I had to deal with it with my father and it just it's the focus of the entire family. So those are the three that we're going to donate to. We actually, National Technology Management donates to all three as well, but we're going to do more from the Heart and Life brand. And just inspire, model, and educate is really what I'm going to do. And the big part is model.
Jeff Dudan (23:04.609)
Nice.
Kelly (23:14.508)
So you'll see some of the personalities that are out on social media, say one thing and do another. You won't have that happen. Everybody that knows, the problem with me is I'm a little too out there. Everybody knows me. And what you see is what you get. And so I can't
claim one thing and do another because I'll be called out. And social media is good for that. So either way, I can't be incongruent with my core values. I just, it just, it wouldn't sit well with me. I have a terrible poker face. If I start, if I start fibbing or telling even half-truths, you can feel it, you'll feel it. And so I just, I got no time for it. And I don't have to remember, you don't have to remember the truth. It's freaking easy. So.
Jeff Dudan (23:55.948)
Yeah.
Kelly (24:02.896)
modeling the behaviors day in and day out.
Jeff Dudan (24:05.443)
So I appreciate your investment in children. There's a, I don't know if it's Lean Six Sigma, but there's a manufacturing belief, right? The earlier in a process that you can identify and repair a defect, the cheaper it is to the overall manufacturing process. And I apply that to children.
And so I coached over 30 seasons of my kids' sports. And as the end of it, I wrote a book called Hey Coach, so that my methods and all of that could survive my career. And we have partnered at Homefront Brands with Ben and Candy Carson and Carson Scholars to build reading rooms across the country in Title I schools that don't have the ability or the resources to properly fill their libraries with the kind of books that.
kids should read and need to read. So we're building two reading rooms this year. And I think that, I mean, if you don't, every aspect of what we do as adults should be in some way contributing to the next generation for the health and wellness of the company, they're gonna be the ones that are, contrary, those are gonna be the ones that are taking care of us. I wanna make one other point, and I don't remember, but I remember, I was really young.
I think it was like 15 or 16 years old. And I had taken a job in a flat work concrete company, which was in Chicago, it was union wages, pretty, everyone assumed that it was run by the mob or whoever was doing organized crime back then in the city. And I would go in and I would...
I would just work like I was expected to work, but the other guys on the crew, they'd be like, they wanna go hide behind the house for two hours. They're like, if you produce that much work, they're gonna expect that from us every day. And everything that these guys did, and they were making really good money, and I'm sure that they could support families and have good lifestyles because of the wages, but everything that they did was to try to get out of work. And my philosophy was, I'm here anyway.
Choose the Hard Path: Growth Comes From Struggle
Jeff Dudan (26:22.326)
Like why would I spend all this energy trying to get out of work? And then I thought about more broadly and I said, you know, everything that we invent and everything that we do, air conditions, air conditioning, vehicles, um, uh, the internet, everything we do is to make our life easier and seek comfort. And in doing that, we've taken so much of the work and the struggle out of kids lives that they have to climb over. So now.
We create, you know, now we have to pay people to coach our kids, to create things to do, to make life hard for them so that they, they're athletes or whatever it is. So, but man, I, you know, I wrote something up on my wall years ago and it's still up there. It says, choose the path of most resistance. The path of most resistance is where the growth happens. And I'm...
always cognizant of when I'm over consuming or buying something for the sake of buying something for that little hit or You know just you know consuming stuff that is absolutely Making my life easier making me more relaxed passing time with me not having to think about things and again, it shouldn't be rocket science that You know a life lived with challenges and struggle and building
and creating versus consumption is gonna be a happier, more fulfilled life and you're gonna have the ability to impact more people and my gosh, we're here for such a short time, Kelly.
Kelly (27:58.892)
Like Jeff, you said so many things I got to jump in. First of all, hardships, my body. You think about muscles. How do you build muscles? You tear the muscle down, you overload it to the point where you rip it and break it, and then it builds back stronger. So it's scientific fact that going through hardships, hard things make you tougher.
But that's also to go back to the guys hiding behind houses and not doing their work I'd love to see where they're at today without even much but they if they continue that path They're bombs. I'm sorry. I just
Jeff Dudan (28:37.502)
Yeah, and that's, and all work is honorable, you know? I don't, you know, we need that work to get done and they might still be doing it. So I don't begrudge them, but I do begrudge them for their approach to the work.
Kelly (28:52.76)
where I was gonna go with that was the energy. Everything is energy. So they're operating at a cheat, lie, cheat and steal mentality. And that's what they're gonna get back. They're gonna get bare bones minimum. What you put out in the universe comes back to you. So you worked hard, look at you, you're a successful brand, beautiful person, beautiful family. And then I wanna go back to what you said about reading rooms. That was pretty, very cool. So what...
The whole circle of life right now with the, so here in Michigan, it's cold, real cold. It's zero or five. We had two, what they call snow days in school because it's cold. They'd said, oh, those roads were bad. They weren't. And the other one was, oh, we're expecting weather. It wasn't. It's just, we, we are teaching these children to be soft. We were telling, teaching them to go on social media and say,
How do I get my dopamine hit? Comparison is the thief of joy. I have taught my child, my daughter, and everything she requires she can get from within. So you want a validation, get it from yourself. But it started with the modeling. So I just didn't, just sitting on my desk right now, here's three books, three books. When I was talking about Goggins books, I'm looking over the left, I have a bookshelf here, hundreds of books. I read physical books.
and guess what my daughter does? Reads physical books. We are in Florida for the holiday and we're on the boat partying and having a good time. My kid was reading while every other kid was on their phone, social media, my kid was reading. So what people don't realize, what I love that you're doing these reading rooms is this is a free education. Here's a book about how to rethink drinking, no willpower required. Oh.
Here's a great book, The One Truth by John Gordon. So these are classes in and of themselves and you can get them for free or for a couple of bucks. Now, I'm not gonna knock you if you listen, at least you're doing something, but the people that don't read at all, what are you doing with all this extra time? I don't have enough time to read, what? I work 12, 14 hour days.
Kelly (31:15.556)
I still manage to read at least 10 pages or a chapter. I try to get through a book a week, but lately I've been reading some really tough books for like this, this one truth. And because I got John Gordon coming on the podcast on Monday, so I had to reread it. I listened to it and I've listened to some deep things because I got to create more content and no more. So at the end of the day, that modeling and do it because the kids follow.
My mother and my stepfather were drinkers and partiers. So I became a drinker and partier. That's what they do. So I'm grateful that for my child's teen years, and for the most part, when she really started remembering and building her ego or her filters in life, I've been not drinking. So she's gonna, she knows nothing but love, support.
emotional well-being and so on. So I love those reading rooms and there's anything the heart of the life people can do for you to support those. Reading, my daughter will come and speak about that. That is paramount. We need more education on this planet, not just sitting here scrolling through social media. Here's the bad part about it. If you think one way and it's right or wrong, whether it's right or wrong, which is relative terms in and of itself,
No, what's right is what gets you in alignment with yourself. What's right for you, Jeff, might not be right for me. Hey, I get up at 4.15 in the morning, but you may get up at eight. Either one's right. No one's right or no one's wrong. It just works for me. So back to the right or wrong is we need to model the behaviors that we want our kids to achieve. And I make things a little tough on my daughter to make sure, and she realizes that just showing up.
Oh, I was going with the algorithm, I apologize. The algorithm on social media teaches you more, it only is confirmation biased. It's my side biased and what you click on, it shows you more of because you are the product and it's trying to keep you on there so they can market to you and build a profile on you so they can sell your information. These are not bad things.
Jeff Dudan (33:26.87)
So is that why I have all these capobarras on my thread? All these big mammals swimming around?
Kelly (33:32.772)
I have these crazy unstoppable ones where it's just, I get bombarded with people that you are, you are Godlike and you are. So you don't say this is a great transition. I'm going to plug the harder than life app on, on Apple that just released because we are create what I'm looking to do. And this is all for charity. It's 1199 a month and it's, it's turned into a social media app with a fitness nutrition.
Jeff Dudan (33:40.339)
Hehehe
Jeff Dudan (33:46.615)
Let's do it.
A New Social Media Platform Built on Growth, Not Clicks
Kelly (33:59.884)
personal development, I put love in relationships, and of course, some rethinking of drinking. That's all, those five little path, little subjects are on there. There's spaces to go in, and then there's an overall space that just is a social media feed where we can just talk about winning. There is no algorithms, there is no censorship, there is no...
selling of your data. It's just I want to scrape off that top layer, 1% that want nothing but growth and giving and vulnerability and to get better together. I'm going to build a family, a harder than life family that is going to be able to create change in this world. My goal is to get a million members. And if you, I looked it up the other day, Facebook has 3 billion. So I want 1 million.
And then I can do a lot with the money on that for charity, but also just create it. I liken it to, I don't know, I'm not trying to make this political, but I liken it to Florida during the pandemic. Florida was wide open. So, Michigan, New York and California were shut down. Florida was wide open. So we're creating a Florida for social media. Come to the Harder Than Life app and just have fun.
Be happy and you'll get your cup filled. So you can get in there and say, hey, who's got a podcast on self-love? Boom, here you go.
Jeff Dudan (35:33.994)
So is it community? Does it have a community aspect to it so members can engage with other members?
Kelly (35:37.06)
That's exactly what it is. It's a community, but I gotta call it family. Cause still the part of me growing up still wants this family. Jeff, I still want to be loved. I got a lot of love to give and I'm going to give it to everybody, but I want to be loved. So that's why I started this. This is a social media app to be healthy, to be happy.
Jeff Dudan (35:49.037)
Yeah.
Kelly (35:59.624)
and be harder than life. And it's gonna take me time, but we'll get there. And I would bet you by the end of the year, we'll have a hundred thousand members, which I'm not trying to be like Clubhouse. We're not trying to take on any of the big boys. We're just trying to give another option because you can go to the big boys and get ridiculed and knocked down. And you know how many times I'm yelling that daily? Cause just tell me your steroid routine. I got a newsflash for you. I don't take steroids. I'm having my doctor on.
And they're still gonna say your doctor lie. It's like Come on, man People just will do they'll go they'll put more energy into avoiding the work like those people who then they're just doing the work and be Becoming this otherworldly person that you become by going through the hardships. So Harder than life go to the Apple Store download harder than life. It's 1199. It's going to charity and come join
Come join this community of fun and happy and
and just go in there and be positive. Now, the only censorship is there's guidelines. I have community guidelines that if you're negative and you knock people, I'll give you a warning and then I'm gonna show throw you out. And other than that, let's just go there and uplift each other. And again, we take the top 1% or even the top 10% of the killers, the people that just want, the do-gooders of social media, we will be a tremendous success. And I just want a freaking happy place to hang out.
You think of it a fraternity or sorority of like-minded people Let's do it. And and then here's the cool thing. Imagine that if we when we get a million people and then the next inevitable Catastrophe happens in this world I can set up a thing where we just everybody donates a dollar and we immediately they watch us just show it Everything's going to be transparent and vulnerable. We all throw in a dollar We donate a million bucks on the on behalf of the harder than life brand
Kelly (38:02.348)
to whatever that fund is. We have another hurricane or whatever. It's a group of people. And then think of what some cool things we can do if we wanna organize some efforts in any direction, because it's gonna be the upper 1% of the population. And I believe that there's more of these people than we believe. And even if there's not, let's cultivate them.
and let's provide and show that, hey, you may not be where you wanna be, but come in here, be around a bunch of people that are doing it, and you'll elevate.
Jeff Dudan (38:38.842)
There's niches everywhere and with Homefront Brands, which is our property service franchise platform, massive growth, we have a narrative and that narrative is for a certain type of person that's at a certain place in their life that is serious about building a big business that has...
a track record of success that's interested in participating with the community and, you know, taking control of their own life. But man, it's a pretty, you know, it's not for everybody. But to your point, 339 million people in this country, I need a thousand. There's a thousand people out there that what we have will appeal to them.
and they're very, and when they see it and the connection, it's just so easy. It's like, this is who I am, this is what I'm looking for, this is who we are, this is what we have. And those deals go easy. You gotta check the boxes and run the process and all that. But there's niches everywhere. There's niches for people and you've got, there are people that...
are looking to cut through the noise of the world. And you said something about the universe, and I've always liked to say the universe doesn't conspire to make us successful. The universe doesn't conspire to make us healthy, to make us have quality relationships. It gives us the opportunity, it gives us the environment, it gives you all the stimuli and everything that you could possibly use, but you have to do it for yourself. And I'm even in relationship with people that...
They don't. I mean, we're in close relationships, but yet, and all of this is right there for it, but it's right in front of them, but they won't take it. They won't take it. They won't run with it.
Kelly (40:38.232)
Jeff, hold on a second. I gotta jump in. I say this a lot. I gotta jump in. I'm sorry. I believe once you do the work and you are on that positive momentum train, I believe the universe does transpire to make you happy because it's almost like even, I'm on such a roll the last two years. And now it's, you're doing, it's a roller coaster. There are ups and downs, but I know.
Jeff Dudan (40:43.83)
Go for it.
Kelly (41:01.472)
that the downs are really much higher than they have ever been before. And they're just because there's more to learn in those things. So I know when I hit a down, I know what else coming right after it. And you also know when you're riding high that a down is coming after. So you never get too high, never get too low. But what I will tell you, I know that everything's happening for me, not to me. And I really do believe it. It's silly that after doing as much work. And here's another thing. This might sound a little bit corny.
But I've been through a lot of hardships. It's, I've earned what's coming. I've earned what's going on. I've done the work. And once you get there, when you start seeing where you can't lose, you just start knowing that there's a higher power and that the universe, God, source, whatever you worship, there's gotta be something out there doing this is working in your favor. That's, if you don't listen to one thing we've said.
Listen to that because I could I watched my I said to my friend the other day. I tried to make a couple of stupid decisions. I did. I tried to make I tried to put myself in a situation that wasn't coming to me and it just didn't work out like meaning. I think it snowed or I couldn't leave the house whatever it was I would and I acknowledged my heart that they that God was protecting me. I made a dumb decision could have been a dumb decision.
and uh they rewarded me so there was other thing we were talking about too is goals without actions are just dreams you could there's a big thing to talk about manifestations and put yourself and how it feels you gotta take action so uh progress over perfection just start today and you don't have to have anything figured out joe dispenser says figure out the what and the why and the how will appear
and just take one step forward each day. And I didn't plan on writing a book. I didn't plan on launching a brand. Heck, my multimillion dollar IT company. I didn't plan on owning an IT company. I just took action every single day and the universe presented opportunities to me. I just had a call yesterday with a non-alcoholic beverage company.
Kelly (43:20.416)
that's coming to the United States, reached out to me. Do you think that I'm wanting to be in the beverage business? Looks like I'm gonna be in the beverage business. So you make yourself available for opportunities when you're making dumb mistakes and you're making that and you're negative and the world's against you, you're not available for anything. You're not even available for blessings. So do the work, the work works.
Jeff Dudan (43:42.962)
Yeah, yeah, so I've got a word of encouragement for people, particularly young people who, who get online and they see where they think they want to go. But the opportunity that they're on currently isn't that I would tell them that you gain the next opportunity by winning in the one that you're in and whatever it is you're setting your hands to do, whatever the universe has conspired to put on you.
and you put yourself on, like you have to win that opportunity, even if it's not financially where what you want to get out of it, or even if it's if it looks like it's only 60 percent in the direction that you ultimately want to go. Failing and opportunities and challenges is a as a bad habit to get into, and it's a tough habit to break. It's easy to step out of things and say, well, this just didn't work out. And I can blame circumstances, other people. But
observationally, people that take on the tough job, even if they're not exactly aligned or maybe it's not the best fit for them, but they finish it and they win it, that next opportunity, it just materializes and it's closer and closer to the bull's eye as to where they wanna be. And I never, like, man, I started as a, I had to go to three colleges, five and a half years to get a four year degree.
I had to get a football scholarship ultimately to get to college to be able to afford to go. I needed to start a painting business to be able to support myself in the summer. Then I took a flyer, went down to South Florida, cut my teeth in the restoration business, moved up to Central Florida, started the business that I would sell some 24 years and 11 months later with 240 locations in 37 states.
And now we're here on this podcast and I have multiple, I have two franchise platforms of businesses and other servicing businesses and national participant, national parking management company. I mean, just all kinds of things. So you would have never thought that guy that failed out of his first college and had to drop back to this Juco football factory, riding school buses on Saturday mornings to play and buying your own shoes would.
Win the Opportunity You’re In: Jeff and Kelly Talk Legacy and Grit
Jeff Dudan (46:02.654)
But the only thing to your point that I did was I just continued to win in the opportunities that were given to me, whether it was an employment situation early on or setting up a new company or whatever it was. And once you win in that opportunity, man, you have confidence. Hopefully you have some resources. Hopefully you have contacts. You have knowledge and you've got some good habits. More than anything, you've got good habits. What did you spend the...
famous quote the other day is you spend the last half of your life or the last 25% of your life reaping the benefits of the habits that you built in the first 75% of your life.
Kelly (46:42.52)
Hmm. You know, uh, you always know when you're on the right path, but people start criticizing you to remember that because it's whatever you, because you're taking the road, less travel, crabs in a bucket. And they just know if you level up, then that, and the other person's not there. They're going to tell you about it. And they're trying to keep you down. So, um, I always tell kids.
Jeff Dudan (46:50.814)
Oh, haters got to hate, right? I don't read it.
Jeff Dudan (47:09.111)
Look, everybody's not for everybody.
Kelly (47:11.476)
Absolutely, absolutely. And what we're talking about here is boundaries and standards. Really, it's the standards. We've all got to have a higher standard for ourselves and for our friends and for everybody. We have a standard at NTM about who we do business with, who our vendors are, who our customers are going to be.
who our employees are, how we're gonna conduct ourselves, what we're gonna learn every year. So when you have high standards, it pushes away the things that aren't for you. So what restoration company were you a part of?
Jeff Dudan (47:42.306)
It was a company called AdvanaClean.
Kelly (47:44.92)
Hmm, interesting.
Jeff Dudan (47:47.595)
And I have a couple questions about MTM and I'm interested in any perspective that you would have doing cybersecurity based upon the proliferation of artificial intelligence. It seems like I am getting more and more solicited, more sophisticated phishing. You can take our voice and you can, with freeware, you can duplicate our voice.
So, I mean, somebody could duplicate your voice, call your bank as you and say, hey, I'm gonna be sending over a transfer and have hacked into your stuff. I mean, like, you know, if you think about how bank transfers are made, you know, there's always all different types of authentication and all these checks and balances, but with the tools that are readily available today, it would seem like your business is positioned for hyper growth as AI continues to give
dishonest people more resources and more tools to do the things that they do
Kelly (48:52.626)
Yeah, so.
What you're saying, just so you know, is that somebody can download the recordings right off of this podcast and create a, an entire conversation of something we did not say. So that's why you got, you're seeing it with, uh, with whether you be Joe Biden or whether it be Trump, but you see people doing voiceovers of things that they don't say. So it's getting a little bit freaky. So really have to have a high level of discernment in this world and realize if something isn't. It's too good.
Jeff Dudan (49:05.707)
That's right.
Kelly (49:24.074)
True probably isn't, or it is. So yeah, it is creating tremendous opportunity. And what they're doing is recap is the bad actors who are out there trying to exploit companies are really getting us at our weakness. And the weakness is people. People...
Kelly (49:47.218)
and these worst hacks that you hear are usually just a user error. I mean, the one that just happened, I think it was the MGM one, was the guy, the bad actor went on LinkedIn and just found the network administrator who gave him the network passwords. He called and just used human.
kindness against somebody called sounded exactly like the person asked common questions built a relationship and was Handed the password and under that circumstance You have to have layers and layers and layers of cyber security because under that circumstance the only things to protect you is your backups and Your alerts and monitors use it and national technology management
Jeff Dudan (50:39.966)
Yeah, the simple crimes are the ones that tend to get through because they're just so simple.
Kelly (50:45.74)
Oh, it's, and then what do we do? It's like 9-11, you know, they, now that they use the airplanes, now we have TSA. And it takes a lot, do you feel any safe? I don't know, I don't. You hear about some of the, just Google the things that get through airports now. So we tend to over-correct, and then on top of it, we don't even correct, they're all,
Jeff Dudan (50:51.255)
Right.
Kelly (51:11.724)
devising new ideas every single day. There's things called zero day threats and that's what national technology management is great at keeping people away from. Old stuff, if it's a day old, we've already figured that out. So we're very extremely proactive. So we do a lot, it's funny, it's just like my life. 99% of what we do is before you even wake up.
By the time the rest of the world is up, my day is half over. And the truth be told is all of the blacking and tackling and things that we're doing to protect our customers happens in the middle of the night. It's with all of the updates that happen while you're sleeping. It's with all of the scans. You know, as a typical customer, like your restoration company, multi-location, multi-state.
Jeff Dudan (51:55.289)
Who's a typical customer? Who's a customer, Kelly?
Kelly (52:07.656)
customers love us because we streamline about nine different vendors and processes and we and we what we've built it literally when I made the company when I started the company it's called Kelly Communications and I was like you're gonna suck people aren't national aren't gonna buy this so we changed the name of national technology management because I saw way out in advance that we were creating really this solution in a box that they could be templatized and
So if you use us, we have several locations of customers, customers all over the country. If you use us, no matter what office you go to, everything is the same. So it's the Henry Ford approach. You can get any color car you want as long as it's black. You, we have, we make it simple. There's three options, a basic essentials, essential cybersecurity, cybersecurity plus an absolute fricking everything we got and you choose.
Jeff Dudan (53:04.406)
Mm.
Kelly (53:06.008)
The reason why we only sold that third one, which was the highest one. And when you're taking somebody that has zero cybersecurity to three, they feel it. It's intrusive. It's you're talking two factor authentication. You're talking.
They're locked down, they can't download things. It's obtrusive. It's I feel it every day because I go to do podcasts and my teeth got us blocked. We got email scrubbing. We have spoofing. We have everything to teach people all the way down to human behavior. And then we throw in a big layer of AI that says, Hey,
Jeff goes to a lot of restoration, a lot of book things. Why is he going to this fishing? He's never gone to a fishing, you know, F-I-S-H-I-N-G, or he doesn't go to weightlifting sites. Why is he there? And it looks at human behavior, and it'll quarantine that and say, hey, we don't think this is Jeff. We think somebody's acting as Jeff. We're gonna hold this on. So we're constantly, that's actually one of the core values in NTM, continuous improvement.
because these bad actors are getting better every day. So we leverage AI, we leverage the cloud, and a lot of our competition is working on yesterday's information, and we're working on tomorrow's information. So that's what's allowing us to get better and better and better. And here's the thing is with the downturn in the economy, all my competition keeps selling out to private equity, which...
If you're an investor, you understand how private equity works. They're going to come in, buy your, it'd be probably who you sold to. Private equity comes in, looks for ways to cut costs and then combine to make the volume bigger and then sell it as a three to six to 12 times multiple. So a lot of our competition has gotten bought out. And when that happens, they slice off what makes them them. We are not for sale. I am having a blast at NTM.
Kelly (55:13.52)
It used to be years ago, before I started this crusade, we were reactive. And we were like every other company, I'm like, what am I going to do? I'm walking into a mess today. We have happy customers, happy employees. And what do you know? It all coincided with one decision that I made five years ago, which was, I'm going to fricking just choose not to drink anymore. And again, I wasn't.
I wasn't an alcoholic, I just, it was in the way. And then now we've seen massive success, massive growth. Right?
AI, Fraud, and the New Frontiers of Cybersecurity
Jeff Dudan (55:47.798)
It's funny how that happens. It happens to a lot of people. They get focused. And well, the first thing that happens, so in my book, Discernment, I talk about, I have a little blurb in there about alcohol. And, you know, it's the worst decisions that I've made. We're always alcohol was always a factor. I heard Jordan Peterson say the other day that if you took alcohol out of the country, like most almost all murders are alcohol involved alcohol. You know, you would reduce murders.
And, but you know, it steals your time. It's the, it's the time that's drinking. It's the time that you're thinking about drinking, then you're drinking. And then it's a time recovering from the drinking and your mind is not working on other things. It's really just math. Like is there anything in life that's not math? I mean, it's math, right? It's just, it's just time, number of transactions. So we talked earlier about, you know, you, you went on about reading books, you know, and who was it?
Roan maybe said something like our lives are a combination of the people we meet, the conversations we have, and the books that we read. Okay, so when you're drinking, you're like, what's the impression you're making with people? What's the quality of the conversations you're having? And you're not reading a book. So it's, I mean, every compound interest works both ways. It works negatively, and it works positively.
and the more positive things that you're doing, the more transactions that you're making, the more conversations that you're having. And by the way, leaders like us, we get paid by the conversation. It's our ability to converse with the right people and have the right conversations. We'll do more for our business in furthering our agendas than anything else that we can do. And that's why we have to be out. That's why podcasting is such a great medium today. We can get in conversation, people can listen to it, they can decide.
Do we have anything of value for these people or don't we?
Kelly (57:42.348)
What you're saying, Jeff, is the cost benefit, and we know that. Does the cost outweigh the benefit, or does the benefit outweigh the cost? With alcohol, it's very simple, and I thought it was working for me. I was very successful monetarily, drinking. I had customers that would use me because we drank together. And then when I quit, they left. And I was glad to let them go. So I will tell you.
Jeff Dudan (58:01.559)
Mm.
Kelly (58:07.008)
that alcohol serves no benefit. It just doesn't. If it did, I would continue drinking. And I would have one, I just don't want it. So the other thing too is those conversations. Remember, we're going all over the place. So this is awesome, I love it. So remember God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. So listen twice as much as you talk and be interested over interesting.
So there's just a couple of little things. And when you're not hungover, you're not tired, or you're not, you're fully present, you actually wanna listen, because you're gonna learn.
Jeff Dudan (58:33.558)
Mm.
Jeff Dudan (58:44.191)
Right.
Yeah. One, couple more things while I've got you, and I appreciate you giving us so much time this morning, Kelly. Your book. So many people are writing books now. You can throw something into chat, an outline and come up with a book. Of course it'll be a compilation of plagiarism and all of this other stuff, because it's, you know, AI, it works from the known universe, so it's only gonna grab stuff that somebody else has already done. It's not truly creative,
It appears as if it is sometimes. So, but you went with a publisher. You didn't self publish. Can you talk to maybe the audience about what that decision was like, what that journey was like, anything that you can share? If somebody's out there and they're thinking, Hey, one day I want to write a book. Uh, what are my options in getting it published? And what was your experience like going with the publisher?
Writing a Book as a Tool for Healing and Impact
Kelly (59:39.628)
First of all, what you were saying, excuse me, is chat GPT, you can throw an idea and say, give me this and Jeff. Here's what is going to make this world a better place, creativity. So you can tell, after now having a conversation with me, Jeff, you could tell that the vernacular of that book was written by me. You can tell. Everybody that's read that book that knows me said, wow.
I thought I was having a conversation with you and you can't chat GPT cannot emulate that. Now, eventually when you when I get enough publishers, it may be able to, but again, it's going to be plagiarization and then you have to look in the mirror and know that you didn't do it. There is
Jeff Dudan (01:00:23.058)
Yep. By the way, your chapter openings are strongly offensive. And they're all, I was like, I mean, you got the hook in the book, man. I'm telling you, it's your first lines or your first paragraph of each of the chapters. That's worth getting the book alone.
Kelly (01:00:32.29)
Hahaha!
Kelly (01:00:44.632)
Jeff, that's how I started the book. I begin with the end in mind, and I will tell you the best defense is a strong offense. I am gonna go down swinging, and I always say, ask for forgiveness, not for permission. So yeah, back to the book. I highly recommend, if you're thinking about writing a book, write it, because it opens up so many doors for you, because it's not easy. It took me a year to write this book. And...
Jeff Dudan (01:00:45.534)
I'm not gonna say them.
Jeff Dudan (01:00:53.431)
Yeah.
Jeff Dudan (01:00:56.928)
Right on.
Kelly (01:01:15.076)
You asked me self-publish everything happens for me It just was one of those weird things where I'm like I'm gonna write a book and then all of a sudden You know you say that and on your feed comes all kinds of publishers and it just came in alignment With with who and what and why?
And then while I wrote the book was during the pandemic. So we're in lockdown. Everybody's home day drinking. I'm working out doing pushups and sit-ups. I bought a home gym. I decided to implement EOS at National Technology Management. So we went through and redid our entire company and all the while, same time, I'm redoing myself. And the number one part of that was not only hypnotherapy, talk therapy, emotional coach.
The biggest one was writing, literally writing my book. I have the notebooks, scribbles that I wrote the book on and it was extremely cathartic, meaning, holy shit, reading this and writing this, that really did happen. And it made it, it's kind of like why I highly recommend you journal. It gets these negative limiting beliefs and
You know, we have these thoughts, these, the thoughts are magical lies. So if you can just get them out on a piece of paper, you can see how your ego is meant to protect you. And it's all ego. So the ego is the enemy. But when I was writing these things out, it became crystal clear that I still had work to do on myself. So I declared war from this book. And then after I wrote the book,
The publisher said, hey, what are you going to do with this? I'm just going to hand this out to my customers at MTM. He goes, oh, no, you aren't. This is way too good. He says, this is going to be a best seller. And it was. It went Amazon best seller for multiple weeks, multiple categories. And then it opened up other doors. But the biggest thing was it made me, by reading, if you listen to the audible that I narrate, you hear my voice crack.
Kelly (01:03:22.54)
So this was all a part of the therapy process, the healing process. Hearing myself say, my mother beat me on my birthday. She, I remember it like it was yesterday. She gouged my eyeball out. I had a scar under my eye. My mother on my birthday. I say it now with absolute, I said it with emotion to get you guys to listen.
Jeff Dudan (01:03:46.143)
Yeah.
Kelly (01:03:51.624)
It does nothing for me. It doesn't hurt me anymore, but it took a lot of therapy together. So this was all a part of my healing journey. And my, I just sent to somebody yesterday. I met a local, a real nice lady that's a publisher, smaller. I'm going to, the second book will be published by somebody different. Frankly, I, we're making such a big headway in the heart of life. I'm sure somebody is going to reach out to us and pay us this time.
We self-published, it was a hybrid. We used the publisher, but I wrote it myself and gave it to them and said, here, let's make this a book. And then they sent it back and I did all the edits. And it was, it's amazing how, it literally, I just had the what and the why. I just wanted to put a book out there to help, and I didn't know shit about, sorry, didn't mean to swear. Didn't know anything about what it meant to write a book. And just each week I'm committed to writing a chapter.
Jeff Dudan (01:04:18.094)
Sure.
Jeff Dudan (01:04:26.601)
Right.
Kelly (01:04:48.752)
And after three months, I had the outlines of a book. And then we just filled in the blanks and then they go through and edit. And it's just, it is a tumultuous process. I found some areas where we can do it quicker. Like, you know, who I met, John Gordon, these books, this guy brings out these books in 90 days, but he's got it down to a T and they're short and simple and they're strong messages. The next one will be much deeper.
Jeff Dudan (01:05:14.743)
Yeah. Hey, Kelly. In your book, you talk about your why, start with the what and the why as your daughter, Ariana. What can you share about what she's doing now and how these changes over the last five years in your life have made an impact on her through that modeling?
Parenting with Purpose: Breaking Cycles and Building Safety
Kelly (01:05:37.24)
Yeah, Jeff, she says to me every year on New Year's, I quit drinking on New Year's Eve in 2019. So, one, nine, I quit. And so every New Year's, we spend it down at our Florida house that I built with my drinking money. And every year she says to me, I love New Year's because it's another year that you don't drink that.
I'm a better father. I am a better role model. I am a better human, a businessman. I'm a better everything, not drinking. And I was a good person. I just am the real me. I am the true authentic self.
Everybody that knew me when I drank said, this is the real you. I always had a big heart. I was always kind. I was a, but I would mask that hole in my heart with alcohol and there would be certain times I wouldn't be my true and authentic self. So now I am my true and authentic self, I love it. So she, we spent on New Year's this year, New Year's Eve, an hour. And I still have one vice, I smoke cigars. We were sitting outside and she wanted to talk to me. And
Teenage girl has FOMO, fear of missing out. All of her friends that are back home here in Michigan were on a big text ride, they're at a party, and she's stuck with her dad. And just started one hour of nonstop telling me what was important in her life. I wouldn't trade that. That was the best part of my vacation.
Jeff Dudan (01:07:10.53)
Wow, that's great.
Kelly (01:07:10.792)
And honestly, between you and me and the fence post, it's a 14, 15 year old girl's life talking about who said what and why and things that, it was her whole world. But you're looking back going, none of this is gonna matter in five days, let alone five years. But it meant the world for her to have a safe landing place, someone who listened.
And all I did is just sit there for one straight hour. And then what did I do? I went downtown to pick up a bunch of drunk people to bring them home, get them safe, which made her even more happy that I'm the person people call when they wanna be safe. So it's so fitting. It's extremely fitting that my company is a shield because I am here to protect and serve. That sounds like a cliche of law enforcement, but I am.
You'll see when we meet Jeff, I'm a big guy, big muscular guy, and as long as I'm alive, everybody that is in my ecosystem is gonna be protected and I'm gonna love them and give them back. And I really believe the more you give in this world, the more you get. So I wanna give away a million dollars, trust me, we'll make several million and then we'll do more. So, it's...
That short answer to that, or the long answer to that short question is, it just, it just, I love, it's great for what I did for her, but I love the man in the mirror. I look in the mirror and I'm proud because she's proud. Now am I the fun dad? No, she, she's, you asked what she's doing right now. She's at a sleepover because there's no school and she won't have anybody sleep here.
Because dad's not the fun dad. We are the serious, we get things done, we run routines, we work out. And then a lot of her friends, they all know me and follow me on social media and they wanna pick my brain. And what I tell her is this is the love house. This is the house of love. Bring the girls whose dads are estranged and don't understand what it is. Bring them here. We will provide safety.
Kelly (01:09:20.94)
We will provide love and we will provide a set of ears for people, for women, girls, men, everybody to just come and be heard and be seen. Because that's what this is all about. That's what life's all about.
Jeff Dudan (01:09:37.79)
Yeah, Kelly, man, I appreciate your journey. I appreciate you sharing it. I appreciate what you're doing to impact the lives of other people. There's we're all broken and there's so much brokenness out there. And even though we are in a broken state, that doesn't mean that we don't have something to contribute to other people that are looking for answers and looking just to make their lives a little bit better along the way. Kelly, last question. If you had one sentence.
Kelly (01:10:05.396)
Hold on, Jeff. Jeff, we're not all broken. Hold on one second. We're not all broken. We just ain't finished yet. We ain't finished yet.
Jeff Dudan (01:10:09.738)
Go for it. Well, right? Work in progress, work in progress. If you had one sentence to make an impact in someone else's life, what would that be?
Kelly (01:10:14.616)
Sorry, go ahead, last question. Yes, sir.
Final Words: Love Everybody and Tell the Truth
Kelly (01:10:25.792)
Oh, that's an easy one. I hear this a lot. I love everybody and tell the truth. It's a Ram Dass quote. Love everybody and tell the truth. This world would be so much simpler if we all just told the truth. Not your truth, the truth. A lot of people filter the truth through their ego, and that is not the truth.
Did you do it? It's black or white. So love, everything is love. A lot of times you'll see me walk around and I'm tapping my heart. That's because I'm not feeling in alignment with love. I'm out of alignment. So I keep reminding myself, when I'm walking around and I'm in flow, I feel love emanating. And then I just know nothing but the truth, but I'm trying to show people that, hey man, Jeff, I wasn't my best self today.
And I tell you something horrible that I did or that it wasn't always it creates a vulnerable space for you to be vulnerable and it brings us together. So I am a big vulnerability and love person. So that is was created out of that terrible childhood. So good came out of it and we're gonna we're gonna you know I'm 48 I'm gonna live into 100
So we're going to donate $50 million, $52 million, from hopefully when this is said and done. All because I grew up tough. And so love everybody, tell the truth. And it's not my quote, it's Ram Dass. But I love it. If it's, I can go show it to you. It's on my wall, in my bathroom. I stare at it every morning when I take a shower.
Jeff Dudan (01:12:01.758)
Awesome. Perfect way to wrap up today. Kelly, where can people get in touch with you?
Kelly (01:12:07.884)
We're big on Instagram. We're on all social media platforms. Instagram is kelly.segal. It's S-I-E-G-E-L dot 71. And go over to harderthanlife.com. There's all kinds of cool things where you can donate to the cause. You can buy harder than life merchandise like this shirt. We got hats. We got hoodies. And we're one year, we're coming up on one year of doing this and the growth is massive. I never thought it'd be here.
But I want to, let's run it back again next year and see where we're at next year because we've only just begun. And then Jeff, we got to get you on the Harder Than Life podcast. I got to hear all about you because it sounds like we're brothers from different mothers. And I want to know more. I really do practice what I preach. You've made a new friend in me. If there's anything that the Harder Than Life brand can do for your brand and for you personally, by all means, just shoot me a text and I'm there.
Jeff Dudan (01:13:04.366)
I'll take you up on that, Kelly. We'll do it. This has been Kelly Siegel, Harder Than Life on the Home Front Podcast with Jeff Duden. Thank you for listening.
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